So what, I'm still a rockstar.

I heard four songs driving home tonight that I would claim as currently a "favorite song".

1. Bow Wow ft. Soulja Boy - Marco Polo
2. Soulja Boy - Donk
3. T.I. ft. Kanye West, Jay-Z, & Lil Wayne - Swagger Like Us
4. Linkin Park - Leave Out All The Rest

and then I heard Pink's new song.

I'm not sure why any of that is relevant. but the Linkin Park song really describes how I feel about things lately. I guess.

I'm having a difficult time. I'm not satisfied with the direction my life is going in.. I'm having major issues with jealousy, selfishness, anxiety, stress, anger.. etc.. and wanting to be happier and better. I've always had problems with communication and expressing myself. For most of my life I didn't have anyone who honestly was interested in or cared about my opinions and feelings.
I still feel like I'm lacking that, to be honest. I have amazing friends, don't get me wrong.. I love them all a ton.

I just feel very misunderstood and empty. I don't feel encouraged or motivated by anyone or anything. I'm questioning myself on things I thought I had very firm ideas about.

Anyway. Other than all that stuff that I thought about while I was driving home tonight....

I woke up around 10:30, sat around, got ready, went to Daryl's, got lunch, waited for Jason, hung out, played tennis, tried to learn to juggle, said goodbye to Jason, watched TV, and left. I did not go to work. I was going to go in late but I decided I just didn't feel like going at all. Sorry Lindsey.

I'll go to work tomorrow. and then the gym. I usually feel tons better after the gym. Hopefully my alarm will wake me up this time. Sorrrry if this blog makes anyone concerned about me.. I'm not that bad, really. I just felt like getting some things out of my head.